Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You made out with two different species that night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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