Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
