nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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