I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
