Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
