hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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