I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
