arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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