My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it's great music for shaving your balls
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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