I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
