I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
