Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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