She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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