i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
