If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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