so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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