I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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