The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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