well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
two words: eviction party
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
