Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
