At least make sure they are 18
Why
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
