You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
