hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
another moral hangover. fuck.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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