Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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