He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
