We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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