Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize