i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
