Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
