Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
