Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
