she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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