just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
