hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize