So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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