I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
