My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
