Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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