she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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