so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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