i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
