One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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