No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
