dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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