tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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