pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
