Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
