Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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