so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
