well you can't waste a boner
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just puked most of my soul out..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
