we made out on top of his cat.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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