I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
