Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i think im in europe. pls send help
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
