did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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