can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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