Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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