mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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