seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize
