i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
