If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
