Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
