I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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