oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
