I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
