I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
