i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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