he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
