Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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