Whatcha textin bout Willis?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
